You really coming over, don't trick.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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