Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.

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  (203): I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket. http://tfl.nu/3353
  Replies (28) Good night (1419) Bad night (586)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye

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  (303): You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake. (303): She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye http://tfl.nu/k1ky
  Replies (4) Good night (1364) Bad night (568)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.

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  (770): Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces. http://tfl.nu/5t2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3647) Bad night (980)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

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  (607): i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change. http://tfl.nu/yfee
  Replies (18) Good night (4749) Bad night (861)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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  (917): someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week. http://tfl.nu/uy84
  Replies (6) Good night (4019) Bad night (1070)
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  (310): View more from California

  My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.

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  (310): My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in. http://tfl.nu/bth8
  Replies (14) Good night (1287) Bad night (2837)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now

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  (406): let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now http://tfl.nu/70jp
  Replies (2) Good night (2852) Bad night (728)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times

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  (330): I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times http://tfl.nu/rqlm
  Replies (19) Good night (4320) Bad night (1590)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.

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  (807): at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket. http://tfl.nu/odip
  Replies (8) Good night (5172) Bad night (1588)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

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  (302): It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex http://tfl.nu/xtt5
  Replies (20) Good night (3494) Bad night (1338)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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  (778): I woke up with glitter in my wounds. http://tfl.nu/r4io
  Replies (11) Good night (2241) Bad night (1122)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.

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  (585): Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle. http://tfl.nu/a803
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (504)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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  (619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (628)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (292)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good

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  (631): Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good http://tfl.nu/dysc
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (230)

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