Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that