He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
