Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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(610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck http://tfl.nu/4xap

Replies (35) Good night (6486) Bad night (1410)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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(319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989

Replies (12) Good night (962) Bad night (3850)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.

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(313): I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere. http://tfl.nu/eett

Replies (40) Good night (1069) Bad night (12224)
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(415): View more from California

It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

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(415): It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year. http://tfl.nu/fhgz

Replies (19) Good night (6051) Bad night (1510)
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(206): View more from Washington

she told me i tasted like america

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(206): she told me i tasted like america http://tfl.nu/ed46

Replies (31) Good night (8023) Bad night (1354)
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(408): View more from California

You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.

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(408): You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien. http://tfl.nu/6kyj

Replies (23) Good night (1986) Bad night (4351)
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(216): View more from Ohio

As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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(216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm

Replies (14) Good night (1240) Bad night (4418)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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(862): Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside http://tfl.nu/iwzn

Replies (23) Good night (1387) Bad night (5581)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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(501): Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check. http://tfl.nu/gtpb

Replies (12) Good night (1057) Bad night (5363)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

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(828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v

Replies (6) Good night (6134) Bad night (950)
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(207): View more from Maine

he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem

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(207): he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem http://tfl.nu/s9hf

Replies (7) Good night (1270) Bad night (3080)
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(916): View more from California

When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.

(1-916): View more from California

Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off

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(916): When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong. (1-916): Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off http://tfl.nu/emwi

Replies (3) Good night (1441) Bad night (630)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee

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(812): Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee http://tfl.nu/tqb3

Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (492)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.

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(610): I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast. http://tfl.nu/ocy2

Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (389)
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(775): View more from Nevada

he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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(775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy

Replies (4) Good night (299) Bad night (860)

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