Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

(219): View more from Indiana

You said that last year...

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(516): View more from New York

I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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(705): View more from Ontario

just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(760): View more from California

I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.

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(213): View more from California

I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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(815): View more from Illinois

I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....

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