dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap