I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
