didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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