wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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