this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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