so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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