Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize