do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
