do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
