he told me I talked like a deaf person
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My ATM looks so different sober.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
