nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
