I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
