maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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