I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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