Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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