Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
