am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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