Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
