Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
