you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
