so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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