my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Omg I joined a choir last night...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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