I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
