a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize