All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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