I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
