shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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