Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize