I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
