Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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