burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
