I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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