I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
