she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
