also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
