You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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