You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
