just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just high enough for therapy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
