Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
