piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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