Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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