the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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