I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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