for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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