Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
