I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
