I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
