He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
