never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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