at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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