you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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