Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
