i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
