cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
