I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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