Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize