im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
