I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
bring money and cleavage
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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