Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
