I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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