i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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