"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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