And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
