So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
