I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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