does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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