I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
