yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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